But the Spirit set's my soul a-craving
For a sliver of true love that is oh so strong
Our God, great Savior how can this be?
Your love for the elect never wavers.
Abundant thanks for opening our eyes to see
All worthless sinners for the Word to save us.
You rule in absolute sovereignty
An iron hand your justice stands
And you demand from us glorious piety
Tenderly bestow grace as your love commands
My sin, Adam's sin a disaster
Forever destined, the curse of death
But assuredly saved by the Master
Our joy as far as heaven's breadth
The Love of Christ that never fails (valentines day)
Our joyous refrain unfold the way
His hands pounded, pierced by spike and nails
Proclaim His raging love this Valentine's day.
Truly God and truly human
Incarnate Christ authors our salvation
Alas disobedience rejects His communion
Still bestows mercy to a chosen nation.
Difficult not to praise Your sovereign grace,
My soul, in love with you my Savior
Thou affectionate smile at my homely face
Find joy in forgiven fault and unmerited favor.
There must be other paths to God - the almighty
Christ is not enough so they say
A blasphemous lie, a godly catastrophe
Jesus is the Truth, the Life and the ONLY Way
Pure heaven our joyful assurance
In that your mercy and love explode
Bestows our soul a hopeful endurance
Forever thanks, our praises flow
Impotent God knows not what the future hold
He cannot guarantee the outcome
Arminian man has the will to be so bold
And God to him win's some and lose some.
Justification alone is absurd Finney says
We have the power not to sin
But no matter how and in so many ways
Sin always overtakes us and Oh Man! never to win
Our lives are always running forward
In an effort to praise You
And our hearts always moving toward
A furious love that springs anew
Should we throw the Law away
The old covenant now so stale
But His commandments we still obey
For God's true nature does not fail
The ineffable love of God (or God's ineffable love so true
Too much for our minds to bear
But our voices rejoice so bold
That nothing in the universe compares
Satan's shames us attacks everything and in between
But once and for all our conscience reprieved
The mighty Blood of Christ washes us clean
From eternal guilt we are cleaved/grieved
True faith a gift from God so glorious
Sinners, so hard to always believe
Try to live our lives for Jesus vicarious
Honor, praise and glory in return we give.
Faith, God's gift so undeserved
Yet we strive not to receive it
Covenant promise given without reserve
Compel our grateful hearts to submit
A great gift, a beautiful Mom (Mother's Day)
The heavens raises a joyful dove
A sister in Christ builds a wonderful home
Signed and sealed with love from above
The greatness of a Mother can always be (Mother's Day)
Shining, stunning with a crown of glory
God's unique gift for eyes to see
Truly fits in His redemptive Story
Mother's day 2023 (for Donna)
A mother's love that will not fail,
God's mercy and grace for her to avail.
A husband's heart that swells with pride,
No doubt, wed again his glorious bride.
God has granted me a glorious gift.
Undeserved, yet my heart it lifts,
To wonderous heights of passion so giving
And without her my life not worth living,
For my wife graciously blessed from above
Never to forget, always to cherish, always to love.
Happy Birthday! 20230927
=======Retreat==========
Sadness through this weekend came
Lives falling in a confused tangle
Men living with vigorous regret and shame
Reaching, grasping for heaven's example
Still stands in our way is one perilous fault
To be dealt with at a desperate pace
Once destroyed, open heaven's vault
And see our Father's magnificent face.
Always life finds us wanting
God hides not from us, eternally there
Man's search undone, ever failing
Our hearts for God alone, we cannot spare
The maturity of men, difficult to find
.A spiritual journey, life's gruesome test
Obstacles of every different kind
Persevere 'til death but still not our best
The Easter message ever rings true
Christ, a sniless life for thrity three years
On Calvary's hill blood shed for our lives anew
Removes our wordly fears.
Justified by His love for us
Can we truly ever know
Our Savior in whom we trust
He gave His life, our God! To truly show
==============Pain ============
Life deals me a bitter defeat
God's plan I did not meet
But along with profound agony
My Lord opened my eyes to see
That I control not my fate
Still His care gentle and great
Feebly my aching heart wants more
Ably to crawl, to climb, to soar.
Where O God, I find no trace?
Far from my stinging soul
Find not your kind, forbearing face
In my world so greedy and foul
But 'tis I who cannot find
You O God have never left
Forever still, merciful and kind
Though unseen have guided my path
==================================
The Mirror of Man
More frightening, screaming place of awe
This earth, this dirt a cruel place to be born
For we travel, humans, through this fateful life
As always strive for more, nevertheless forlorn.
But ahh, we grasp at things known and unknown,
And find that fatefully we live as men of scorn
I gaze in the mirror for the face of faith
But only a shadow's future ruining in decay
My hope dashed and gone as a wisp in the wind
Days of running and turning finally back as they
Perhaps to seek a Savior who seeks me
That today He found a soul adrift, this very day
The despair of man, now defeated
Nights of hopelessness never to lament
My God who descends so low to meet me
My journey starts to soberly repent
I gaze in the mirror at the face of faith
My Jesus, living, loving, magnificent.
May 2023
The glint in my eye
The glint in my eye that precious Jesus comes someday
The glint on my hand found in work and in play
The glint in the moon, as I write, in shadows of gray
The glint on the road finds paths of dismay
The glint of my sin will send me to hell they say
The glint of forgiveness, these sins, thrown far away
The glint in my soul found longing to repay
The glint in my heart knows there is no way
The glint of God's mercy so loving and aye
The glint of heaven's jewels and gold on display
For the glint of hope that my precious Jesus comes today
May 2023
My wife My Love
Against the sun our Love fades as parched paper
Against the moon our Love hides in the shadows
Has our Love gone like an old song long forgetten
Struggling to sieze that fierce love again
We grasp but like a mist, is gone in an instant.
How, how can I find the unsearchable longing,
The passion as a furious ocean is gone forever.
Why, why has my love so much diminished.
But the love of Christ formidable still
Heavens bounty like sheets of cooling rain
Has given my the joy of loving
Loving Christ always and forever
Ahh how can I not love my wife.
My precious joy, my intimate affection
Against the sun our Love brilliant still
Against the moon our Love uncovered thrill
The Glory of God
We fight for our
Death's Door
Death's door swings open wide
For we to enter our feet to slide
On the far side of the vale we find
Young and old, short and tall all in line
Our journey through life full of despair
Toiling with hands of work to repair
Sickness approaches at every turn
Another simple breath we fail to earn
At times or two we live so joyous
A baby born, a wedding glorious
Strolling through fields of amber grain
Skipping through puddles in a Spanish rain
A delicate balance of lows and highs
Falling, stumbling, then reach for the sky
How can we live in a world so indifferent
At every turn, men so belligerent
Heavy is death's door, slightly tinted
The wood, antique with shards so wilted
Many is the soul that passed this way
Never to return forever and a day
The door now leisurely closing
One final gasp haplessly disclosing
That we cannot stop it unto the end
Eternity in hell or heaven for us to spend
The choice we see so very clear
To decide when alive, cowering in fear
The right decision forever more
Oh stop! Creaking, closing relentless door
The final glimpse of life for us to peek
A few inches more as tears fall from our cheek
Has the tempting harlot seized our very soul
Our lives without regard to the One, oh so foul
The door now shut, not with a slam
But the quiet, sighing hush of a lamb
A lifelong journey between love and hate
On the vale's other side we await our fate
july 2023
=========================
Sexual lust my heart strives for
Forgetting God in my mind and soul
I try and turn but want much more
Falling, stumbling, a night so foul
But like David whose sin so dire
Sought to find God's grace again
Inevitable consequence, a blazing fire
Can't escape the unending, wrenching pain
In Progress....
Praise Him, Praise the Father Praise the Spirit,
All things should give glory to All,
But our hearts are fallen and sinful
Because of Adams gigantic fall
So we praise discreetly thoughtful
And through our life and to the grave we shall
From Belgic
as much as we need in this life,
for God's glory
and for our salvation
** God gets the glory yet he saves us...
ineffable
immorality
bitter passion
disobedience
he paid back what he had not stolen
renders believers perfect forever
Christ is not enough is greatest blasphemy against God
brother and sisters all over the world
Pure Doxology
How I love God so,
Why? Because of his Son who came to save
I don't deserve such love because I'm a great sinner destined for hell,
but out of His mercy He saves
So what can I do but give thanks, profusely
And give glory to Him always. Soli Deo Gloria!
Shall I begrudge other Christians of their doxology?
Forgive me for thinking myself so highly.
What is doxology - a word or song of praise.
Why is doxology important - to praise God without ceasing! Always! Forever!
A Calvinist is know for his Doxology.
CS Lewis Quote
"For my part, I tend to find the doctrinal books often more helpful in devotion than devotional books, and I rather suspect that the same experience may await others. I believe that many who find that 'nothing happens' when they sit down. or kneel down, to a book of devotion would find that the heart sings unbidden while they are working through a tough bit of theology with a pipe in their teeth and a pencil in their hand. "
Sometimes devotions are only something to get through from. Read and done
Thank you Lord for allowing me to worship you and love you.
Let my ears hear and eyes see in all, Doxology.
Lord, a major disappointment not keeping the class. My fault! For we know all things work together for Your good according to Your will for those who Love You! Amen!
But Your love is so wonderful, glorious, unending, crazy, unbelievable, perfect. My diploma was sent to me last week (03/12/22)
missionfrontiers.org
423communities.org
Dort - justice and mercy kiss in the cross of Christ.
TBA - Trust in the Lord with all your heart.., Be anxious for nothing.., For we know ! that All things
work together for good...
05/03/2022 - In a disjointed space last couple of weeks. Is it because there is no men's meeting? Is it because missing church? Is it because losing faith? Feeling not close to God. Kind of tired of studying. Listening to Christian music though, Still praising and worshiping God. But definitely not on a mountain top. Still trying to be faithful. Still believing in God's covenant promise. Wonderful Donna is still at it. Listening, studying and moving forward.
==================================================================
Faith
Move to its own book.
==================================================================
JM 20220203 - did not say much, did pray with dave ed and scott which was nice.
Disagreed with so many things. ... All things work together for good is trite. but if that's the only thing you can hang on to then it's very good. A maturity that's beyond comprehension., Need to work at relationships - but upwards relationship with God more important?, Claude asked help of a pastor, pastor rejected PJ said that's really bad. almost condemning but do not hear the other side. Methinks that Claude was being a pain and the pastor had other things to do.
JM 20220210 - said a bunch of things - hopefully helped but can't help wonder if it's going in one ear and out the other.
Ed shared, Paul shared, Scott shared. Jeremy talked too much about himself. I'm thinking of the maturity level of the men. (What about me!!!) Sorry Lord, maybe too holier than thou!
I also wonder about the climate/culture of the group. Almost having problems is a badge of courage.
Men are willing to share their downtrodden life but to what purpose? Is it a release for them. I don't see any benefit to us who listen. Even Pastor John seem to bring up the muck and mire that we are in. But they are stuck there, and I think they have been stuck there for a long time. LORD help me to pray for these men, that they see growth and maturity in You and Through You.
JM 20220303 - Fatherhood - Claude and Paul told about their experiences in their school, how the kids are just out of control. Disrespectful. Thought about how the church has fallen down in their responsibility in teaching the next generation. Is it the church's fault?
Efrain shared about his time in the ministry. About being criticized.
I shared this time and Pastor John thanked me for sharing.
JM 20220310 - Integrity - good talk table of what's consequence of good integrity and consequence of bad integrity. Paul wanted prayer for his baby. I guess it's ok.
JM 20200317 - Tongue - Efrain brought some tongue tacos.
PJ shared a chart that had Compassion and Honesty where honesty goes from seen to the unseen to Jesus doing the Fathers will. He said that the Honesty/Truth side is doctrine and is not as important as the other side - Compassion. I told him that for me doctrine has made me so close to God and my love for him has grown exponentially along with love for the Son.
Hmm don't know. again preaching to the choir. Maybe put PJ on the defensive.
Also instead of being angry or indifferent to the men, maybe feel sorry for them. Maybe pray more for them, pray more for my interaction. Help Lord to convey my Love for you. I'm sure they love you the same. Who am I to think that I'm so much better than them? Just hope they have the same zeal and want-to to learn about God.
JM 20200324 - Perseverance (on call)
JM 20200331 - Church / Giving - Talked more than any time else. Got a bunch off of my chest.
PJ said that the most important thing is relationship in the church. I said I don't agree. I said that teaching the Gospel and solid Biblical doctrine is key. If your relationship vertically is sound, then the horizontal relationships will take care of themselves. Also said RC's quote about teaching at an 8th grade level. I said that I understand that the teaching has to cater to both new Christians and mature Christians. But we as Christians have to learn more about God apart from sermons.
JM 20220407 -
Hmm interesting meeting. PJ was gone so Jeremy was leading. Talked a lot.
Challenged men to be men of conviction. I asked them if I were to ask their wives where there was no repercussions and the husband will not know. what would they say about him. I told them that I told PJ to ask my wife or ask my kids how I am. If they ask do I love Jesus, they would say Yes. If they ask am a good husband or father, they may hesitate. Then we we talked about sin. A lot of guys were focusing on their sin and lamenting over it. I said that Yes, we sin it's a part of our nature from original sin from Adam. But I said don't forget who we are, don't forget about the Gospel. That Christ died for our sins once and for all, Our past, present and future sins have been absolved. Then they started asking questions about my faith. How do you get faith. I told them that it comes with maturity. You have to live a life long enough to go through numerous trials to exercise your faith, With each victory you faith get stronger. I started feeling uncomfortable. Who am I to answer these questions? Hopefully the Holy Spirit spoke through me...
Patrick texted: Thank you for a wonderful group last night. The spirit was certainly stirring!: Erick texted: It was really good!! Amazed by what the Lord did last night.
JM 20220415 -
Only 6 men showed up. Good meeting. Shared about equally yoked with wife. Told them about moving our ego out of our way to have a more loving relationship with your wife. Also witnessing, They all laughed when I told them "You know I'm a Calvinist", but I told them that we are elect and God has appointed persons to be saved. So we can do what we can but God will not be thwarted, I don't do it, someone else will. Patrick shared at the end of the meeting that he really appreciated what I shared last week. Nice. Always pointing to Jesus > God.
JM 20220505 - Just a few men Dave, Paul, Claude, Me, Efrain. Jeremy led. Topic was Discipline in Ministry and Discipline in Discipline. We talked about Ministry most of the time, Paul and Claude spoke about their struggles. Claude did say some things that surprised me. He knows more about theology than he lets on. Prayed for the men who weren't there. Scott was missing, PJ was not there (Covid). It looks like Chris bailed out
JM 202205/13 - Only 7 men (PJ, Dave, Scott, Paul, Efrain, Jeremy, me). Great ribs from Lucille. They had beef ribs. We had a round robin exhorting and praising fellow JM. Dave - great hospitality servant always willing to help. Scott - how much he has grown spirtually from initial study with him and Suzanne to now. Paul - how he willing to share every week, his problems and issues and how he seems to rise above them. Efrain - how he struggles with ministry, told him to persevere because there are not enough good pastors out there. Jeremy - told him he was a capable leader when PJ was gone. How he led but let us talk the previous weeks at Dave's house with Patrick and Paul asking questions. Me - the praised me for not letting things go and make sure everything was correct. Dave called me a berean. PJ said that he valued me speaking in the group. Paul said that when I got emotional talking about God he knows that I really love Him. Efrain said don't remember. Jeremy said that was kind of hesitant until I started to speak about God. PJ - I told him how we was a man of character. The last JM yeeay!!
Hi Men, don't text often but just a word... tomorrow is Easter Sunday, the day in which our faith hinges on. I know that i probably sound like a broken record but remember who you are in Christ. Forgiven from our sins past, present, future so we can stand blameless before a Holy God. How can we not live for Christ or fall on our face in adoration? Now we look to an empty tomb, redeemed and justified and well on our way to sanctification. Hallelujah!
What do I think about Joshua's men?
Don't ask:)
I wouldn't do it again, even if it was free.
There wasn't in-depth study of the chapters. We didn't do a deep dive into the reading. Just asked questions based on reading and relating to the men's experiences.
It seemed that there was one thing that prohibited the men from a true deep relationship with Christ. Men were being patronized and babied. There was no kick in the pants.
The retreat should have been at the end where guys new each other and less posturing and more friendship.
Jeremy still needs maturity in leading a group. Talked too much about himself and his experiences. He didn't facilitate as well as he could have.
My time would have been better spent studying on my own or hanging out with Donna.
Talked more about individual problems than giving glory to God.
Didn't know my place in this group? Kinda like a fish out of water.
20220507 - St5raight Ahead - Partnered with Kathleen. Met the guys for the first time. I was surprised that they talked a lot. Didn't have to draw words out of them. Some had great insight. Initial prayer was the Lord's Prayer. Kathleen said that I need to lead next time.
20230316 - Straight Ahead - did the 3 day Ready for Life with Scott Larson and Jason ? Wrestling with God. Having thoughts of what I am doing and what I want to do... wanting to tell the kids more about the Gospel and to talk more about being righteous. The Holy Spirit won't leave me alone... I can't sleep. Why is God doing this to me? Regurgitating the Gospel. Almost like trying to convince myself of God's magnificence. LEAVE ME ALONE, (not really), let me sleep.
20230411 - Opted out of Straight ahead. Kathleen sent out an email telling us that it would be better to go to Sundays (every Sunday), because the staff is overworked and it would better for them for Straight Ahead to visit on Sundays. In my heart, I know that Sundays would be tough. Because of Donna's permanent day off and we usually have get-together's on Sundays. Dave and Kathleen said they were sorry that I opted out. The gave heartfelt praises for my involvement. Now more than ever Romans 8:28. What am I feeling... hurt, I think I need not apologize in preaching the Good News to the kids. Had a great relationship with them. I will always remember their smiling faces. " For we know that all things work together for good to all those who love God and are (the) called according to His purpose. In all things, You get all the glory. A new chapter; what will my Lord require of me.
20230507 - Didn't go (backache)
20230520 - Drove with Kathleen to SMYC. Talked about our conversation at Dave's house. Will compromise and will not talk about homosexuality and Islam directly. Will try to talk one - on one.
A good day of ministry. Everyone was involved and participating. I love these guys. A lot will going home this June. The asked when I was coming back? Can I come every week? Will bring Taki's next week.
20230603 - Tag-teamed with Scott, did forgiveness and recap the months we have been together.
I'm not sure who would get this book, but I am sure that whoever get's it will be blessed beyond words.
You are not only guys I minster to but I also call you my friend. You have sat through the weeks when I preached the Gospel, the Ten Commandments and living a godly life. As you go through your new journey out of SMYC, remember that God loves you. He would not have sacrificed His only Son if he did not love you. And I love you also. A love that is surrounded by joy, sadness and anticipation.
I will always remember you and will keep praying for you and your family. Not that you would stay out of trouble only, but that you find the riches that God will present to you.
As I said if you want to have lunch or breakfast one day when you get out, text me and I will take you to get something to eat. Then we can talk about anything you would like. Most of all I want to make sure that you know that we care.
My contact info:
Mr. German Rivera (pronounced Herman)
email: germanprivera@hotmail.com
702 508 6568
With much love through Jesus Christ.
Mr. German.
